ME ;
CHRISTIEJANEPILLAY
17 years going on 18
07 MAY 89
GREEN
saint theresa's convent
one bernadette
two bernadette
three deirdre
four deirdre
ngee ann poly business studies
TB 05
st ANTHONY'S church
Lord's Vineyard
AMPLIFY
passion play 2006
st john vianney play
five golden rings play
wishings
i want those GORGEOUS set of colourpencils that have 120 colours, but is like $298.40. art friend.i want those pretty stamps me and AMAZING saw at taka.
i want that black ipod VIDEO!
i want that pretty zara knit top.
i want that striped mango top
i want that mondo striped purple shoe
i want a new handbag.
i want plenty of SKITTLES and M&M's!
i want a new pair of BIRKENSTOCKs.
i want abs like nicole schnerzinger or fergie.
i want to revamp my room.
i want that $599 casio 6 mega pixel camera.
i want to learn to play the drums, and xi yao and charles and jo and keith and william can teach me.
i want a new pair of HAVAINNAS. soon lah.
i want be able to take INTERNATIONAL ECONOMICS next year.
i want LOVE that lasts forever.
AND AMAZING GAVE HER THAT!
REMINISCING
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
June 2007
LOVES OF MY LIFE (:
adeline'
angelyn'
avlyn'
antaeus'
bernard'
claudine'
charles'
charm'
dara'
deon'
dora'
dinesh'
drey'
jasmine'
jeremy'
joscelyn'
beloved cousin'
karmila'
laurie'
larris'
lexine'
manda'
melissa'
nathalieROCKS'
nessa'
nini'
peiwen'
sean'
shabin'
sheryl'
shyla'
stephy'
suemaine'
vankelly'
yishan'
yolanda'
SPEAK UP.
mocking
* Tuesday, October 3
you never know how i feel.
you never know what i want.
i thought parents were supposed to know.
you're supposed to know your child's needs.
but you'll dont.
just constantly bringing me down.
time and time again.
you'll never think of how i would feel.
how i would react.
i know why im crying so badly now.
i thought parents were supposed to spend time with their kids.
to lead them to grow up to be better people.
to help them succeed in life.
to be there for them when they need you the most.
you just make a joke out of my life.
you think i go to church just to get away.
well let me tell you this.
I DONT.
if you even bothered you would have asked me
why i want to be a catholic.
and not mock me everytime i go for mass.
helping out in church,
and just being with the people i love,
and who love me for who i am,
is just an unbelievable feeling.
you'll will never know.
because you dont bother to ask me.
about my day,
about anything.
i study so hard.
and try my best in everything.
just to make you'll proud of me.
that im your daughter.
but you'll have never shown me that.
you'll think that i dont do anything.
its just like church,
there's so many behind the scenes work to do.
that no one notices.
and i do that at home.
clean up after the lazy bums,
who cant even seem to clear their own stuff.
you'll think the house is clean
cause the maid cleaned up is it?
whatthehell.
your two faggard children
take me for a maid.
and everytime i say something,
you'll just think that they are right.
you'll always say that i treat my friends better.
look at how your children treat me at home,
before you compare any bloody hell thing alright.
just because i am the eldest,
i have to bear all the responsibility.
if they dont do their work,
its my fault because i never ask them to.
if the clothes were hanging there,
and no one wanted to take them down,
i end up doing it what.
i end up doing everything in this freaking house
and no one realises it.
fuck.
i hate this.
so much.
i would die already.
if it wasnt a sin.
if i run away,
i know who to run to.
there's only two people.
that no one will look for me there.
but both of them will tell my parents if i did.
who wouldnt?
GOD gave me my parents for a reason.
and i found out that reason the moment FATHER
talked about it that time.
last last month?
yeah.
im going to hang in there.
till im old enough to make my own decisions.
for now i think i shall just resign to EVERYTHING.
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
EAT SHIT AND DIE.
ROT LIKE BANANAS AND STINK LIKE TRASH.
12:30:00 am